I love making carbonara at home – it’s easy, quick, and always tastes good. But if I post this anywhere on social media, I’ll get utterly destroyed by all the food snobs and grandchildren of Italian grandparents from the motherland. I don’t give a shit – this is my version at the time with what I had available at the time.


If I could afford it, I’d use real bacon. But since real bacon costs an arm and a leg, I usually buy turkey bacon and suffer through it. I saute half the pack, rendering what little fat these fake pink turkey “bacon” pieces have.


In the same “fat”, I cooked a piece of steak that was likely going to go bad the following day. It was seasoned with salt, pepper, and just a dash of cumin. Again, this is not an authentic recipe whatsoever – so please don’t call Nona on me.


Removed the steak once slightly tender, and cooked the onion pieces in the remaining fat. Did I mention this will legit be a one-pot dish? Super easy and less dishes.


This is the fun part of one-pot dishes. Yes, literally throw the uncooked pasta into the pan. Should also mention here that the widest, deepest frying pan would be ideal. Pull the pan to the sink and fill just enough water to cover the top of the noodles. You’ll have to monitor this, in case additional water is needed, but stirring frequently will always be the best bet.


And there you have it – noodles cooked perfectly in fat-dripped, onion-infused water. Tastes good already, I know.


Separately, I began to chop the steak into bite-size pieces.


With the temperature on low heat, add all remaining ingredients into the pan. Be quick with the eggs, and try to temper them into the mix as slowly as possible. Once all noodles are coated with the eggs, the heat can be turned off but continued to be stirred. The heat of the noodles will make sure everything is cooked through (don’t come at me Salmonella Police!).


Taste for additional seasonings, but otherwise there you have it.


A carbonara recipe fit to piss off any Italian national.



  • 1 lb spaghetti
  • 8 oz turkey bacon (regular bacon is absolutely fine)
  • 1 small steak (6 oz or so)
  • 1 large onion, chopped
  • 2 eggs, beaten
  • 1/3 cup parmesan cheese
  • 1 tb pepper
  • Dash of cumin
  • salt to taste


  1. In a wide skillet with large sides, cook turkey bacon (cut into 1 inch slices) on medium heat. Use additional oil if needed. If using real bacon, additional oil shouldn’t be necessary.
  2. Once bacon begins to crisp up, remove with a slotted spoon to a plate with paper towel.
  3. Turn the same pan to medium-high heat. Season steak filet with salt, pepper, and a dash of cumin. Once fully hot, sear each side of the steak for about 5 minutes each, or until cooked through to your liking. Remove steak to rest once done.
  4. Now turn heat to medium and saute the chopped onions until just slightly translucent, around 5 minutes with continuous stirring.
  5. Place the spaghetti pasta into the pan so that each side can lay flat. Fill enough water to just touch the top of the pasta, and turn the heat to high. Continue to monitor the pasta, and start to mix it around once it becomes pliable. Make sure that every pasta strand is submerged in water and not sticking. If more water needs to be added, do each amount slowly.
  6. Once pasta is cooked through and majority of the liquid has been soaked up, prep the remaining ingredients. Steak should be chopped after resting, eggs should be beaten into a separate bowl, and everything else handy because this part is quick.
    Add all remaining ingredients to the pasta on low heat and quickly stir everything in, taking much concern with the eggs binding everything. Turn heat off and continue to stir until consistency is good.
  7. Serve immediately. Fresh chopped parsley on top is also a nice touch.
Posted by:Talei Rukstad

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